Principal's Connection

October 29,2007

If Johnny Jumps Off A Cliff......Are You Going To Jump Too?

In the movie "13 Going on 30", a young teenager, Jenna (played by Jennifer Garner), thinks her life stinks because she is not as cool as the Six Chicks tribe of she-wolves who rule her school. Though Jenna wishes she were in the hip crowd, her actual best friend Matt, her chubby, decidedly uncool neighbor, obviously thinks she's the best thing since Twinkies. Of course, his crush is unrequited.

Jenna laments her figure, metal mouth, and low placement on the social food chain. Inspired by an article in her favorite magazine, Poise, "Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving," Jenna latches on to the idea that to be thirty is to have it all and then some. When her 13th birthday party goes horribly wrong, Jenna makes a birthday wish to be thirty. Voila! The next morning, Jenna awakens in a fabulous New York City apartment, her thirty-year-old life complete with a walk-in closet and a great boyfriend.

Surprises abound for the fish out of water, Jenna. For example, she is now best friends with Lucy, the queen snob of the cruel clique from middle school. Jenna also discovers to her dismay that she isn't a very nice thirty-year-old: underlings at work are scared of her, and she is completely out of touch with Matt. When she does fmd her long-lost best buddy, he has grown into a handsome, gentle, endearing guy (surprise, surprise).

If you have seen the movie, you know that eventually Lucy's true colors show, and she is revealed to be just as warped and self-centered and mean-spirited as she was in middle school.

This particular film isn't supposed to be profound, but I found it to be so. What resonated with me is that Jenna wanted so badly to be like Lucy and the Six Chicks that she would change her personality and interests and even hurt her truest friend to assimilate. Her story illustrates how powerful the temptation to fit in can be. With her new thirty-year-old perspective, Jenna could see with crystal clarity that Lucy and the girls were not worth bending over backwards to be like. To stretch it a bit, Jenna's fierce desire to be liked caused her to sin, turning her back on Matt and morphing into a conceited girl herself.

If each one of us could recall our own middle school experiences, we could see how at that age we would gladly have sold our souls to be accepted by certain groups or individuals. Why had we all been so skewed by the allure of popularity? Many of us can remember how it felt to be shunned one day for no apparent reason. It can then just go away as quickly as it came or linger and if we know how that felt, we owe it to our child(ren) to share that so they can know us and learn from us. If we know what it is like to be avoided, ignored, and whispered about, even by other Christian children, let us share the hurt with our children and teach forgiveness and growing. Let us show our children that those experiences carried us even closer to the Lord's open arms.

Even if our children are younger, they may have experienced to some degree the forces of peer pressure. If we have a child who is socially motivated, so eager to fit in and be like others, then we know the pain that might cause. We know kids who see movies we won't let our children watch; have toys and video games that we won't buy; and even wear clothing that we would not let our child(ren) wear. We often can only say, "Just because so and so does this doesn't mean you have to." We have to stand strong and say that. We have to pray that our child(ren) will have the courage and character to follow their own path even if it means they won't be liked at times. All of us want to be liked by others. We can all lean towards being a 'pack animal' who loves people and groups. But, like Jenna, hopefully we have come to realize that being accepted and adored by people is a fleeting thing. Being accepted and adored by God is a given, now and for eternity. Let us be sure we teach that to our children.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,
for the Lord our God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 31:9